Category Archives: Family Matters

Talking with Children About Current Events

Talking with Children About Current Events

Written by: Emalise Mitchell 

Right now, children and youth have ongoing exposure to emotional national news, COVID-19 information, and acts of racial injustice and unrest. Even if children are not actively engaged with the news, they pick up information through adult conversations and background television and radio. Stressful current events are abundant.

What are some tips for talking about the news and current events?
Avoid the temptation to downplay.
As caregivers, we are often tempted to downplay seriousness when children are exposed to traumatic news. This is often because we want to protect children from worry and burden. However, caregivers can share simplified and honest information with children. Doing this helps your child to make sense of what they see and hear.

Reinforce safety
When children hear about chaotic current events, their first response is to think about whether they are safe, even if the event is not happening near to them. In times like these, remind your child that you will always protect them.

Stick to the facts
As much as possible, stay neutral when presenting the facts about what is happening in the news or in your community. It is best to focus on the facts of a situation rather than opinions and myths. Check in regularly with your child to get a sense of what they already know and their exposure to the situation.

Be open and available for questions
A caregiver’s willingness and readiness to listen sends a very powerful message to children of any age. As best as you can, listen to their questions and concerns without minimizing them. If you don’t know the answer to a question that your child asks, it is okay to let them know that you don’t know and you will find an answer for them.

Model desired behaviors
Adult attitudes, beliefs, and actions affect children. It is very important to help your child identify their range of emotions and responses, as well as how to express them in appropriate ways. When you talk to your child, you can show positive ways of emotional expression, problem solving, and using words to describe your feelings.

How can I support my child’s sense of safety?
Limit news exposure
Decide how much news is appropriate for your child and set clear expectations in your household.

Provide a reliable routine
Whenever possible, keep predictable routines and structure in your child’s day. Consistency helps your child to have a sense of safety and predictability.

Encourage discussion
Male sure there is enough time for serious conversations about emotions. Encourage your child to talk about their thoughts and feelings. Allow them to ask questions and remind them of the facts – not perceptions – throughout your conversations. For example, if your child asks “Why did those bad guys hurt the good people?” you can respond with, “The people used violence to hurt other people because they did not like them or agree with them. Hurting others is never the right choice.”

Additional Resources
More resources for caregivers
• KidsHealth: https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/news.html
• ConnectSafely: https://www.connectsafely.org/fakenews/
• CDC: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/talking-with-children.html
• Healthy Children: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Talking-To-Children-About-Tragedies-and-Other-News-Events.aspx
• Scholastic: https://www.scholastic.com/parents/family-life/social-emotional-learning/social-skills-for-kids/how-to-explain-scary-news-to-kids.html
• SAMHSA: https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/d7/priv/sma12-4732.pdf

Children’s Books
• “The Breaking News” by Sarah Lynne Reul
YouTube has the author Read-Aloud available here

• “I Can Write the World” by Joshunda Sanders
YouTube has the author Read-Aloud available here

• “On the News: Our First Talk About Tragedy” by Dr. Jillian Roberts
YouTube has a Read-Aloud option available here


Staying Strong Against Cyberbullying

Staying Strong Against Cyberbullying

Written by: Joshua Blazen

What does bullying look like during the age of online school? Today, many children have access to social media accounts, cell phones, and the internet. These online platforms have created a new type of bully: the cyber-bully.            

What is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying is any teasing, intimidation, or harassment that occurs outside of school hours via social media or other technology. Roughly 10-40% of school-age students will experience cyberbullying at some point. The experience of cyberbullying is different for each student. Some cyberbullied children may be flooded with “spam” messages from bullies, some may have embarrassing rumors or photos spread by bullies through social media, and some may receive threatening or intimidating messages from bullies. Since cyberbullies can set up anonymous online accounts, cyberbullying victims do not always know who their bullies are. For this reason, cyberbullying can be more frequent and more difficult to avoid than traditional bullying. More time online with digital learning may increase both opportunities and impacts of cyberbullying. 

What are some warning signs of cyberbullying?
Here are some warning signs that your child may be experiencing cyberbullying:
• They become upset, sad, or angry after spending time online or on their phone. This may be a reaction to experiencing some kind of digital harassment. It may lead to decreased interest in digital activity. Current requirements for increased online learning and online homework completion can unintentionally enhance a student’s discomfort. 
• They become socially withdrawn. Cyberbullying can make a child more self-conscious, and this can make them avoid social situations where they might be judged. 
• They go to great lengths to hide their screens when you enter the room. Children often feel shame about experiencing bullying and may try to hide it from their family members. 
• They appear more down or sad than usual. This may include losing interest in activities they once enjoyed. If your child experiences a sudden downturn in mood without a clear cause, you may want to get some more information to see if cyberbullying could be the cause.
• They suddenly want to avoid school. If a child who normally loves school suddenly starts dreading going to school, this could be a cause for concern. It may be that the child wants to avoid seeing their cyberbullies as much as possible. Some children may even use feeling sick as a reason to stay home or stay offline. They may refuse to turn on their camera during online learning. If this is the case, you may want to gather more information to see if your child is experiencing cyberbullying. 

How can I protect my child from cyberbullying?
• Make sure your child knows that you are ready to listen. If your child talks to you about being a victim of cyberbullying, be supportive and non-judgmental. Some children feel like it is their fault for experiencing bullying and they can feel ashamed to tell their parents for this reason. Make sure your child knows that they are loved and appreciated no matter what.  
• Talk to your child’s teacher if you believe your child is experiencing cyberbullying. Teachers don’t always know when cyberbullying is happening, so it may be helpful to bring it to their attention. Ask if the teacher would consider talking to the class about cyberbullying in a way that doesn’t specifically identify or target your child as a victim. Your child’s teacher may even have a specific anti-bullying curriculum in mind! 
• Help your child come up with some strategies to avoid cyberbullies. You may want to help your child limit their technology and social media time by agreeing on a technology-use schedule. An online schedule can reduce the amount of time they are exposed to cyberbullying. You could create a tech space in the house that is more public so your child feels as though you are part of the online experience and can intervene on their behalf. Additionally, you may want to show your child how to block cyberbullies’ phone numbers and social media accounts.

What should I do if my child is cyberbullying others?
• Help your child come up with more acceptable ways to solve conflicts. Children often resort to teasing or bullying to get revenge. Make sure that your child knows they can come to you for advice when they have disputes with others. 
• Gather more information. Your child’s teacher may be able to shed some light on any conflicts your child has with other children. Talk to your child to learn more about why they are bullying others. Some children may bully others to cope with stress or other negative feelings. 
• Talk with your child about feelings. Help your child understand the way that bullying makes others feel. Help your child come up with acceptable ways to express their feelings. 

Resources
For more resources for caregivers, visit the Cyberbullying Research Center website: https://cyberbullying.org/resources/parents

More recommendations for caregivers from ConnectSafely:https://www.connectsafely.org/cyberbullying/

To report chronic or severe instances of cyberbullying and harassment:https://www.cybersmile.org/advice-help/category/who-to-call

Tips for caregivers during the Stay Home, Stay Healthy Order

Tips for caregivers during the Stay Home, Stay Healthy Order

Written by: Jenn Vanetten

As a parent or caregiver during the Stay Home, Stay Healthy Washington State mandate, you may be confronting new challenges at home. You may be helping your child learn their math lessons, keeping them entertained with creative activities and helping them cope with the sudden changes in routine. Luckily, educators and professionals around the U.S. have been sharing free tools, activities and information to help! 

Here are a few situations that you may relate to and some tips and resources. 

Situation 1: Helping Children Understand and Rest
Arianna’s 5th birthday is next week. You began planning her birthday party before the Stay Home, Stay Healthy order. She was excited about having her friends and family invited over for a party that included a bouncy house in the front yard. These plans have now been canceled and Arianna cries every day because she won’t have her party or get to see her friends and family. 

How do you help your child understand and overcome difficult feelings during this time?
Make sure you recognize and validate any negative feelings about the situation. Let your child know that it is okay to be sad. Then, focus on the positives. For example, you get to spend more time as a family. Try to make more time for fun at home. If it’s fun for your child, it is probably going to be more fun for you!

Check out these resources for tips on talking to your child about the Stay Home, Stay Healthy order and help them cope with changes:
• National Association of School Psychologists on helping kids cope with changes
• National Public Radio on using comics with older children
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) on stress and coping
• Child Mind Institute on talking to kids

Situation 2: Setting a Schedule & Helping Children Learn
Jasmine and Juan both work outside the home, but now they both are working from home. They have three children, Arial (age 3), Brandon (age 5) and Adrian (age 10). Arial usually attends childcare, Brandon normally attends preschool and Adrian is in elementary school. Adrian’s classes are now online, while Brandon and Arial are not engaged in school.  

How do you and your partner balance two working schedules, monitor online classes and help all children stay engaged during the day?
Structure is key. A written daily schedule will provide your children with a sense of comfort and control and will allow you and your partner to “split shifts” (and get some work done). Some families may want to create their schedules day-by-day while others may prefer to stick to one daily routine. Which is the right way? Do what works best for you and your family! Just remember to be flexible and to collaborate with your kids during this process—even if it means scheduling an hour for “kids’ choice.”

Check out these links for more tips on creating a daily schedule with your family:
• How long should learning lessons be for children in different grades
• 8 tips on working at home with children

Situation 3: Keeping Children Entertained and Active
As a single parent, you stay at home with your 4-year old daughter and 7-year old son. After several weeks of staying at home, they have played every game in the house at least 20 times and have become tired of their toys. The easiest solution for keeping them busy is television and electronic devices, but you feel guilty about that

How do you keep your children engaged and active?
Try to make time for a fun family activity at least once a day! It is most important to ask your children what they want to do. Encourage them to be creative with their ideas. This can be a great opportunity to help them expand their creative minds. The internet can also be a great tool for finding new activities:
• Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) has a really cool website for access to age-appropriate activities for learning about science, math, arts, literacy, character, social skills and emotions
• PBS will e-mail you daily suggestions for games and activities for free
• The Seattle Times has ideas for easy activities with materials that are probably already in your house
• Imagine has a YouTube page with art, science, music and math activities along with guest author and artist videos. Subscribe to be alerted to new posts. 

Check out these resources if you want more information about the Stay Home, Stay Healthy order and how to keep you and your family healthy:
• CDC resources and guidelines
• Public Health recommendations 
• Washington State Department of Health resources and recommendations for parents and caretakers